Looking back on a broken day
When love seemed stolen, swept away
A friend that fell for another friend
A heart freshly wounded, longing for mend

Admittedly, those who saw on Diaryland know what I'm talking about.  The soul mate who ended up falling for another girl.  That girl was a friend of ours, one who'd recently departed from an engagement.  I did feel rather lacking in worth when that happened.  The question couldn't help forming in my mind, "Why did he choose her over me?  Aren't I worth something?"

That's when he came...the man who currently is the owner of my heart.  At first, that was not the plan.  He came across as some gents typically seem to, being friendly and flirtatious, allowing some indulgence into affection.  But there was conversation that came along...concern and fondness that grew.  And I fell for him.  Even knowing that he did not desire a 'deep romantic relationship', I began to love him.  And he saw it.  He saw it in my willingness and desire and care, asking on voice chat one day in such a soft voice, "You love me....  You love me, don't you?"  He allowed me to love him, even though he felt that what feelings he held for me were not the same.  He was glad that I loved him, relished in it.

There are many things though that have him wonder what to do with me.  There is a lust within him that he fears.  His heart has been brutally broken to the point that he is scared to trust.  He wonders if perhaps I am not right for him.  But there is a longing....a desire to see each other and discover what would come of it.  Talks of meeting one another have been in the air for the past month or so.

And then...the soul mate and the girl he fell for meet.

I can't help reading her memories of their meeting.  I look at it and wish that I could have that with the man I love.  I honestly wonder if that would have happened with me if the soul mate had chosen me.  I imagine it would have....which does leave a bit of sadness in my mind.  But there are "what ifs" and there is reality.  He *didn't* choose me.  And I want to be with someone who *would* choose me.  I am not wholly certain if the one who bears my heart will....but I want to wait and see.

Their hearts unite in a dream come true
And I long to experience my own dream too
Hoping that shade on the horizon I see
Is my intended love coming for me